change of plans - rowan's first day of preschool is tomorrow!! i'll be taking him at 8:40 in the morning. today we've chatted a bit about how he'll go by himself, and he'll get to have a snack and play on the playground. i don't know how it will go tomorrow, but i've decided not to make him go if he ends up crying every morning. he's only 2, and i've got two more years before he starts kindgergarten, so he's got plenty of time to get used to school. if he doesn't like it this year, we'll try again next year - or maybe even after christmas.

josh is babysitting his nephews and niece until saturday afternoon, so i'm on my own again this weekend. today, we played hide-and-seek at home then walked down to holford park. the kids played on the playground for a while, and tried unsuccessfully to get away from a little girl (who, incidentally, goes to micah's school and recognized her) who insisted on chasing them and splashing water on them from her water bottle. i even asked her to stop, and she ignored me. :/ anyway, when we got home i stuck the kids in the shower, fed them, then snuggled them till they fell asleep. now i'm going to make micah's lunch for tomorrow, and get rowan's little teddy bear backpack ready for his first day. josh's dad ordered the batman backpack for us, but it hasn't arrived yet. rowan was disappointed when i told him before bed that he'd have to take his teddy bear backpack to school; i hope that doesn't push him over the edge tomorrow morning! :)

so rowan was awarded a scholarship to attend preschool at the ELC in richardson. i'm very excited!! i think the social interaction will be great for him. josh is a little less enthusiastic than i am; he thinks rowan is a little young for school, and isn't sure how much good it will do him in the speech area to be older than his classmates. since his birthday is in the early fall, he'll always be the oldest in his class. at any rate, we're going to try this and see how it goes. he'll go tuesday and thursday mornings from 8:40 to 11:45. i ordered this backpack for him today. :-) he won't start going until october (the 5th, to be exact - the day of his 3rd birthday!) because we can't afford tuition until then, and it'll also give me three weeks to get him caught up on shots.

my med law & ethics class starts on tuesday! i'm excited, and a little nervous. the instructor sent out an email saying this is a fast-paced class. i hope i can keep up. i haven't been in school in a while, and the last time i tried, i didn't do so hot. but i keep telling myself, this time will be different because i'm highly motivated, whereas before i was just going because i felt like i should be doing something productive. there was a breastfeeding management class out in denton in late october that i was excited about attending, but they cancelled it due to lack of interest. i hope they reschedule it soon.

today i had trouble remembering that it was the anniversary of the terrorist attack on the WTC in new york. i feel pretty awful about that. i know the families of those lost in the attack didn't have any trouble remembering. nine years ago today, i woke up in my apartment in north dallas that i shared with my friend jessica, got dressed and drove to richland college. i absent-mindedly listened to the radio on the way to school, but didn't focus on anything i heard... my mind was on something else. i remember feeling annoyed that there was no music playing on any stations, only talk and commercials. i wasn't paying attention. i parked, went inside the school, and immediately tuned in to a weird, unpleasant energy... students were crowded in the hallways and foyers, and everyone was talking on their cell phones. i didn't have one at the time. i saw a sign on the wall that said classes were cancelled. i made my way through the crowd to the pay phones and called my dad. he told me what had happened. i couldn't process it. i went back to my car and drove home. jessica was there, sitting in the living room, watching TV and eating a bowl of peas. strange, the things we remember... i sat down with her, and we watched the second tower fall together. i got on the phone with my mom, and she told me my sister was stuck in oregon, unable to fly home from a camp she'd been attending. jessica and i watched TV for the next couple of hours. i don't remember much after that. they kept showing the same awful footage on TV, of bodies falling from the towers. i remember watching george w. bush's address to the nation, and wondering, "is this the beginning of a war? will this be my war? my generation's war? will my children interview me one day about this event, for a project or research paper at school? they'll read about this in their history books." isn't it strange that i had that thought? our minds are so funny sometimes.

last night i bawled my eyes out because micah and rowan are growing up too quickly. today, i decided to be present in the moment with them all day, to enjoy and revel in every moment with them. and i did. we got up early, got dressed, and i dropped them off at my dad and stepmom's for the morning while i went to work. i got done with the deposit at work as quickly as i could, then picked them back up. we drove to laura's new house in murphy for chase's 2nd birthday party. it was so fun; the kids had a blast playing, they got loot from the pinata, and we had a good lunch of chicken nuggets, fruit, and birthday cake. we hung out for a while after the party festivities had wound down, and i got to hold laura's 3-month-old baby, reed, while she ate her lunch. reed fell asleep on me - joy!! :) after we left laura's, the kids and i drove back home and rowan took a nap. micah and i chatted and snuggled on the couch watching cartoons while he slept. when he woke up, i fixed dinner (poor man's meal - mac & cheese, pintos, leftover popcorn shrimp, and salad) and we ate while we watched toy story. after dinner, i felt like doing something fun with the kids, so we went over to rachel and joe's house to play with mink and lael. the kids had missed each other, and craziness ensued. micah and mink made custom artwork for rachel and me, and rowan and lael made clay traps for their superhero guys. i love those kids.

now my babies are sleeping soundly, and it's time for me to take a shower and go to bed. i miss josh. i'm glad he's coming home from houston tomorrow. he's been there since yesterday, photographing a friend's wedding.

this past wednesday, i got DRENCHED to the BONE during crossing guard duty. it was fun. :) a sweet, sweet teacher whose name i didn't catch arrived at school at the same time we did. she noticed me hauling the crosswalk stuff out of the little foyer at the front of the school, and asked what i usually did with micah while i was out there directing traffic. i said, "she usually sits in the cafeteria, and she's usually the only one in there for a while!" the teacher clicked her tongue and said, "well, not today; you come with me to my room, honey, and i'll take you to your classroom when the bell rings." i held my breath as micah walked out of the foyer with her and disappeared down the hall. when i picked micah up that afternoon, she told me that the nice teacher had shared her breakfast with micah, and had given her a piece of chocolate to enjoy after school. what an angel. :)



last night (thursday) was "meet the teacher night" at school. jill was in town, so she played with rowan at home while josh and i took micah. we sat in mrs. barrett's classroom and listened to her rules and expectations. she walked us through what the kids do each day, and she shared some tips and stuff. it was really fun; i know it doesn't sound fun, but this is the kind of stuff i love. i could've spent hour after hour in micah's classroom, trying to see everything through her eyes. we found out that this is mrs. barrett's 9th year teaching kindergarten at cooper. it's nice to know micah's in the care of someone so experienced. i got to observe some brief interactions between mrs. barrett and the kiddos, and i liked what i saw and heard. she was playful, funny, but firm - and she didn't talk down to the kids. as the hour drew to a close, most of the parents drifted out with their kids, but micah and another little boy, kasyn, sat down at the reading center to flip through a couple of books. i took the opportunity to ask mrs. barrett how micah's been doing, and she smiled and said, "great. your worries are over." i felt completely comforted by her words, because i know mrs. turrentine must've talked to her about micah's separation anxiety... and micah has been doing wonderfully in the mornings. this morning i walked her into the cafeteria and handed her off to one of the teachers in there, and she went happily. she definitely still likes to hold someone's hand, whether it's mine or a teachers. and she seems to need to go straight from my hand to the teacher's hand - it seems difficult for her to walk from me to the kindergarten table in the cafeteria without being physically led there by the teacher. i am completely fine with this slow progression of her confidence and stability.

today (friday) micah had her best school friend, hannah (!), over for an after-school playdate. micah and hannah have been buds since the first day of school. i took micah over to hannah's to play earlier this week, and today hannah rode home from school with us. the girls had fun, and hannah told me she wants to ride home with us every friday. i told her i'd have to discuss that with her parents. :) i'm so happy micah has made a friend. i know it helps her to have a connection with someone at school. i think daniel in her class has a crush on her. he whispered a secret in micah's ear as we were leaving this afternoon, and micah wouldn't tell me what it was. ah, it starts!!! :)

this morning was josh's turn for crossing guard duty again, so he had to take micah to school. it went very smoothly leaving home this time; i'm anxious for him to get home so i can find out how it went at school! she just REALLY likes for me to take her. last week she cried when i put her in the car to leave with him, and he reported that she cried and had to have the teachers take her into the cafeteria. SIGH. this is very difficult for her... and for us. but i think every day gets easier. we've found out that if we walk her to her seat in the cafeteria, stand behind her and rub her shoulders for just a few moments... it works. that's become our magic trick. i did this once, on impulse, on a morning when she was having a very hard time. it worked, and that evening she said, "i want you to rub my shoulders like that every morning." so that is what we shall do. anything beats the alternative of standing in the hallway with her while she hems and haws, then finally gets dragged off me by a teacher who (through no fault of his/her own) does not understand the circumstances, and probably assumes i'm coddling micah and making it more difficult for her. i wonder if this is something we will move past anytime soon, or if it's something we'll be handling for years to come...

we had a really nice labor day, albeit busy. i started out the day by getting up at 8, packing up my laptop, and driving a few minutes away to the generator, an awesome little coffee shop on the plaza in downtown garland. the place is so charming and hip, with fair-trade, organic coffee; twice-a-week, kid-friendly, free yoga classes; kitchy, vintage furniture; and a tub full of lincoln logs, legos and train pieces for the kids to play with. it is such a neat place, and i wish we had discovered it sooner. anyway, i drove to the generator yesterday morning, while it was still a little bit crisp and cool outside. i got a cup of coffee and a harvest healthy muffin, and went and sat in the sunshine at one of the tables near the front door. i whipped through my home study (which was due first thing this morning, and i knew we were going to busy the rest of the day yesterday). then i went home, got the kids and the husband ready, and we went to my dad's. we ate hot dogs, talked and played in the pool. then we went to josh's dad's around 4:30, ate more hot dogs and talked. we got home around 7:15, with both kids sound asleep in the car. i successfully maneuvered rowan to his bed without waking him, but micah took forever to fall back to sleep. i think it was after 9 when she finally did. but she seemed to be in a great mood this morning, so it's all good.

so since yesterday ended up being jam-packed with family obligations, we didn't start our week 2 running base training. this morning, as soon as josh gets back from micah's school, he's heading over to whole foods for an informal interview with the grocery team leader (yay!) so he can maybe get 10 or 15 hours a week there. when he gets back, we'll do our thing. we've been making it with just my income, but we decided there are some things we want/need (some materials to make art displays for josh, a new computer desk, a new fridge) so we're going to save josh's paychecks for those items. i'm actually kind of sad that he'll be going back to work. i never anticipated how much i would enjoy having him home all the time. he keeps me company, where i used to be alone with the kids for much of the day. we feel like more of a team when it comes to parenting stuff and housework. i know we can stay that way, i'll just miss him when he's at work. i've been spoiled!! oh well, back to reality... :)

my med law & ethics class begins a week from today! i am sooo excited. today, after josh and i do our walk/jog, we'll go to richland and i'll pay my tuition. my father-in-law ordered my textbook for me from amazon.com, using his special membership to get free shipping, but i'm a little bummed... the book's condition was described as "very good", but it has writing all throughout. there are notes written on some pages, and some of the chapter reviews are filled out. argh! it was $33.60 compared to what it retails for in the richland bookstore, $120. so i guess i got what i paid for. :/ i don't know whether to have josh white out the notes and answers to the reviews for me, or just wait and ask the instructor. i don't want the instructor to be like, "yeah, you shouldn't have bought your book used online, dummy." i'm sensitive, i don't want to cry on the first day of class.

josh and i finished our first week of establishing a running base, so we can begin training for our 5k! i'm excited. we really do need to buy new running shoes, workout clothes, heart rate monitors, interval timers, etc.... i can't wait till we can get all that stuff. today i'm going to take the kids for a walk, tomorrow josh and i will do a workout video at home, and mon, weds, fri of next week we'll do the week 2 walk/jog schedule - walk 5 mins, jog 2. i think it's hilarious that i can walk faster than i can comfortably jog right now.

micah and rowan are "swimming" in the bathtub right now, in their swimsuits and everything. they started out splashing in the sprinkler out front, until they both got cold (!!!) and asked to come inside. apparently they weren't finished with water play, though, because they wanted to get directly into the tub. now i can hear them pouring cupfulls of water over each other's heads. cute. :-)

this morning micah FREAKED OUT when it was time for me to leave for work. i think it was overwhelming for her to be separated from me every morning for school, and not to have a break on the weekends. monday will be nice; we'll sleep in, then go swimming at my dad's.

i think tonight we'll go to white rock lake park and have a picnic, and let the kids play on the playground. this weather is so lovely, i don't want it to go away...

this morning was my first crossing guard duty. it was way less stressful than i anticipated! i always get worked up about stuff like this; i guess that's where micah gets her anxiety. i pictured a pile of kids waiting to cross, and a pile of cars waiting to get through, and a bunch of angry commuters glaring at me through their tinted glass... didn't happen. there was a seasoned crossing guard there to help me on my first day, and it was really fun. micah went into the cafeteria more easily with me than she did for her dad yesterday. the kids all lined up at the door, and micah's best friend, hannah, was there. she held a place in line in front of her for micah while micah hemmed and hawed next to me. finally i guided micah into place in front of hannah, and the kids just filed in. micah never looked back! she's getting the hang of this. i just hope she doesn't have another meltdown at lunchtime... i didn't send a lunch with her because she said last night that she wanted a tray (chicken nuggets, veggies and peaches is on the menu for today), but this morning she got upset about it. i should've made her a lunch, but something told me to go ahead and let her get used to eating the school lunch. homemade lunches are healthier for her, no doubt, but this is about more than just the food. i NEED her to relax and go with the flow and experience new things at school.

i just looked up local 5k races online, and josh and i picked one to run on november 6th. i'm super excited!! i've lost a little bit of weight over the past couple of weeks without really trying, which is encouraging, because think of what i could accomplish if i really TRIED! josh and i researched how to begin a running regimen and how to train for a 5k. we're going to start today by following these guidelines. now the silly girl in me wants to go buy new running shoes, gym shorts, an interval timer, heart rate monitor...