i was just re-reading posts from the past many months. that 5k so did not happen. haha. :-) but i am still going to zumba class twice a week, and trying, trying to eat better... but i'm not doing very well with that. i lost 20 lbs, then gained about 5.5 back. i need to start using the Lose It! app again, pronto.

i love my job, but i don't like being away from the kids so much. micah and rowan are both doing really well at and enjoying school. they're so wonderful. they fight CONSTANTLY. we were going through absolute hell at bedtime there for a while - partially because i wasn't being consistent and was trying something different almost every night, out of desperation - but we've finally settled into a nice routine that works for everyone. around 8 o'clock the kids brush their teeth and get into pj's. no later than 9 o'clock, they lay down in bed and i read to them until they fall asleep. if rowan falls asleep before micah, and if micah's still awake and not quite ready for sleep, she's allowed to turn her lamp on and quietly read, write, draw, etc. in bed until she's sleepy. this works great for her because she feels like she has a little bit of control over her bedtime (because i have learned finally that i can't make her go to sleep, no matter what i do); and it works great for me, because one of the things that's always driven me nuts about bedtime is that i have to be in there with them, either lying down or nursing or whatever, until they fall asleep. i am SO HAPPY they're finally at the age where i can sit in a chair and just read. don't get me wrong - when they were babies, nothing made me happier than to snuggle and nurse them to sleep every single night, and i wouldn't change a thing. but as they've gotten older, i've grown less and less patient with actively participating and facilitating every moment of the whole "falling asleep" process. i've been so ready for them to learn how to lie down and fall asleep on their own. not that they're really even on their own - i'm in the room. but sitting in a chair reading is so different from lying down with them, for me. again, i love it, i wouldn't have it any other way. all that is to say... this new routine is really working well for me because i can kiss micah goodnight, leave her to her journal or book, and check on her periodically, while getting to do what i want with the rest of the evening. before, after lying down with them, by the time they finally fell asleep, my nerves would be too shot to do anything.

rowan's so funny, he's always sound asleep within minutes of me starting to read. :-)

micah is enjoying first grade! her first day went off without a hitch - she got a great night's rest, had a big breakfast (a sure sign that she wasn't feeling anxious), josh and i got her there on time and walked her to her classroom. sweet mrs. may was there greeting students at the door, and we walked micah to her desk. she asked me to hang up her backpack for her, then she sat down and opened her yellow play-doh. josh and i both bent down and kissed her head, i squeezed her shoulders, and we left! it was AWESOME!!

i got the produce supervisor position i interviewed for! the interview went great - i was very prepared, relaxed, and confident. i started this past monday, and i am having a blast. i already feel a sense of ownership about the floral department, and i'm looking forward to being able to implement some of my ideas. i'm tired as hell, but it feels good. i haven't gone to zumba class this week, but other than that, i'm happy.

my med term class is going really well! every class, i feel all emotional and humbled by the design of the human body... i wish we all understood what goes on inside of us more clearly. i am getting only a tiny sliver of a glimpse of it in this seven-week course, and i want more!! maybe i'll go to medical school. nah... couldn't take it. mr. saunders, my instructor, likes to laugh at the faces i make when he pulls up google images of things like parasitic twins, tumors with teeth and hair, ruptured spleens, etc. i don't think i'm cut out for health care.

yesterday i took nine LLL helping calls. NINE. in one day! it was awesome. every call made me happy that i'm doing what i'm doing.

i have an interview tomorrow for a supervisor position on the produce team at work. i'm a little nervous about it because i don't have any experience in produce - or in any profit center, for that matter; i've only worked on the front end and in admin - but i think i've got a good shot at the job because i've been with the company a long time and i understand the financial side. we'll see. i've got some good ideas, but i just hope i get can them across in the interview without getting all nervous...

micah starts school on monday. the summer didn't zoom by as quickly as i was afraid it would. we went swimming a lot, had fun with friends, went to the park (before it got into the triple digits) and had a fun weekend in austin. it was a great summer. i'm actually looking forward to the fall, school, and getting back into a routine. all i have to worry about is getting her school supplies... she already has a whole new wardrobe for this school-year, thanks to generous hand-me-downs from mama. :-)

i did get down 17.5 lbs, but i gained some back. i seem to do really well for a while with my diet, then i get lazy. working out is so fun, but i don't have time to do it as often as i'd like. maybe when micah and rowan are both in school and i don't have lina anymore, i'll have more time to go to the Y.

starting in mid-october, i won't be babysitting lina anymore! it's going to be so strange! she's starting montessori school. she'll have so much fun. she's such a smart kid, it'll be a perfect environment for her, i have a feeling. we'll miss her, though.

I can't wait to buy a house.

I'm taking my Medical Terminology class for the next six weeks. The class is really fun and clicking for me; I love words and language. My instructor is funny and colorful. Every class he tells us stories from his years in the emergency room that make me cringe and shiver, but they are FUNNY! and disturbing. We took our first test last night and I think I did well. Studying for the test was challenging, but I'll be able to study smarter for the next one, now that I know what they're like.

My friends Alison and Diana took the IBCLC exam yesterday morning. I'm so proud of and excited for them!! Alison felt like she was amply prepared for the test, which makes me feel good for my future exam. If all goes as planned, I'll be sitting for the boards in July 2013. I've been daydreaming about what I want my practice to be like. I don't know all the protocol for how to make it happen, but I am excited about the future.

Papi accidentally bought a Polar heart rate monitor for women, and he decided to buy the men's version and give the other one to me!! I am SO stoked. I can't wait to use it at the Y tonight. I'm very curious to see how many calories I burn during Zumba and weight-lifting. I'm going to practice using it at home first, which will be good because I haven't exercised since last Thursday.

On July 20th my great-aunt Dorris died. She was 89. She went to the hospital because she didn't feel right, and they admitted her into the ICU, and she died in her sleep. I only saw her once a year at the Wallis Christmas get-together; she was my paternal grandmother's oldest sister. I really loved her and she had a strong sense of family pride, loyalty, and hilarious sense of humor. The sadness I feel about her passing is mostly for my grandmother and my dad. My dad was close to her growing up; she always told funny stories about hosting ladies lunches and Bible studies at her house, and in the middle of them my dad would come bursting in the back door, grab something to eat out of the fridge, wave hi to Dorris, and walk right back out the door. He grew up playing and swimming at her house with his cousins. And my grandmother is very emotional and loves her family more than anything. The morning my dad let me know Dorris had died, I went over to Jo Ann and Sheridan's house and just hung out for a couple of hours, drank some coffee, and chatted about random things. Caleb was there too, working on the yard. Jo Ann was very weepy, but seemed to cheer up while we were there. Sheridan told me later that spending time with Caleb and me had lifted her spirits. The funeral was very nice; it was the first one I'd ever been to. Dan Stevens, my youth minister, led us in the same three songs that were sung at Daddy Clint, my great-grandfather's funeral in 1988. I thought that was a very special touch. Edd Eason also spoke at the funeral, and he's known my family since the late 70's; he said that Granny and Daddy Clint were the members of the congregation who first welcomed he and his wife, Tresia when they moved here. I loved hearing all those old stories.

At the funeral and gravesite, my grandmother was way less emotional than I thought she'd be. I was really nervous arriving at the funeral home because I hate seeing my grandmother cry; she seems very fragile and weak. My grandparents are so strong and larger than life to me, and I feel all shaken up when I see them in emotional states. I know I'm almost 30 and it's time to get realistic about their roles in my life, but I can't help it. :-)

hi, little blog. i've lost 11.5 lbs. i was down 14.5 (a half-pound away from my mani-pedi, yeah!) but i fell off the "eating right" wagon and gained some weight back. oh well, i'm trying not to beat myself up about it. rachel and i are zumba-ing three times a week now, and jessica and i ran wednesday night after a two-week hiatus due to scheduling conflicts. josh has done something awful to his back and shoulders, but if he feels up to it, i'm going to jog tomorrow night - possibly with katherine.

the summer II semester at richland started this past monday, but the start date class i'm taking - medical terminology I - was pushed back to this monday, 7/18 to give more people a chance to sign up. i don't know if that means the class will be really small, or if it'll be cancelled. i'm hoping it's not cancelled; that'll put me behind a semester, and i'll have to make it up somewhere. i'm happy to be on track with my classes, thanks to mama and daddy who paid for this med term class. hopefully i'll be able to pay for the rest, but they've both told me they're happy to help if i need it.

i'm loving the summer with the babies. we've gone swimming more times than i can count, had playdates with friends, and eaten lots and lots of fruit. the kids and i have righteous tans. :-)

hey-oh, i've lost 12.5 lbs!! i'm so excited. :) i tried a zumba class at the Y and it was so much fun; i can't wait to go again. jessica and i have been jogging once a week, and my endurance is getting so much better. it's nice to see improvement in these areas as i go. at work now, will write more later...

i've lost 6 pounds. can't seem to lose more than that, which is irritating. i've been going to the Y three days a week and jogging one day a week. i'm starting to think that's not really enough. i've had moments of upset and discouragement, but overall, i feel like this is my new lifestyle and i won't be going back to couch potato status. my eating habits are a very long way from improved. for example, i ate apple pie for breakfast this morning... *sigh*

josh is on a cruise. he'll be home on sunday. the kids and i miss him, but have been having a nice time here at home. i've tried to do something special each evening with them. last night after the Y, we went to McD's for ice cream and playtime. tonight vesta's going to watch them while i go jogging with jessica. i hope i can actually jog the whole time tonight - i think i'll be able to. i jogged for about 10 mins on the treadmill last night. it's so much easier on the treadmill, though.

i'm feeling like a failure in the school-mom department. micah's report cards from the first couple of six weeks were really good, and she's been regressing in some areas. i'm not sure, but i think working with her more on thins at home would help. i've also gotten lazy about bedtime and wake-up time again, letting her stay up too late and sleep in too long in the morning. i should know better by now. she needs a good 20-30 mins in the morning before she's ready to eat anything, so most days she goes to school without breakfast because i haven't allowed time for it. what a horrible, selfish thing for me to do. :( this year was trial and error for me, and i'll do much better in the fall. my poor, sweet girl...

i didn't bomb that test after all - i got a high B, and an overall A for my nutrition course!! YEAH!!! sociology final's on monday, then i get to decide what to take over the summer. NOT A&P.

josh's first art show was last night. his was by far the best stuff there, but i'm biased. his work is just so unique; there's nothing else like it that i've seen. that seems to be what everyone else thinks and says, too. he got a lot of positive feedback and sold three prints. i can't wait for his next show!!

i have three amazing friends who are helping me get healthy, and i'm very grateful for them. my high school bud, jessica, and i have been jogging at breckinridge park once a week, in preparation for a 5k in the fall. i said once before i was going to run a 5k, and it didn't happen... it's happenin' this time, y'all. believe it.

my friend from work, rachel, and i have joined the richardson YMCA and are working out there twice a week. i put in an hour on the recumbent bike before work this morning without her because she's a weenie - her words, not mine. :-)

and my friend alison is doing the Lose It! app alongside me, logging her food and exercise, and is throwing encouragement and support my way daily. love her.

i've been doing really well with my diet, staying well under 1,500 calories every day, and have been exercising as much as i can. i feel happy and proud and on my way to finding myself under these layers of babyfat and scones and carrot cake... i've lost 6.5 lbs so far.

josh tells me how proud he is of me every day, my dad and vesta bought me cute workout clothes for my birthday, my grandmother's paying for me to get my hair cut, and my mom's going to buy me some new running shoes since mine are from high school. everybody's holding me up!! grateful, grateful... my perpetual state of being.

today i feel a lot better on way less food. my mood is on the sour side, but that's because i BOMBED my nutrition test last night. at least, i'm fairly positive i bombed it. the really frustrating part is that i studied really hard, but i didn't study all the right things. there is so much material, it's really hard to know what to focus on. i thought i was prepared, but as soon as i got to the short answer questions, my heart sank. i did very poorly on the math and chemistry questions. *sigh* i'm not looking forward to finding out that grade... and the other really frustrating thing is, there were two extra credit assignments due last night, and i did neither of them. smart, huh? >:/ i haven't gotten any exercise done today, but it's only 2:30... there's still time for some situps while i watch TV, or maybe even a bike ride with micah and rowan later this evening. we're going over to a friend's house after school, then joining them again for dinner at the chick-fil-a near our house, which is hosting a fundraising night for micah's elementary school. i've been very stingy with my calories today because i plan on enjoying a chicken sandwich, fries, and a sweet tea at dinner. :-)

yay!! finished the day at 66 calories under budget. :-) :-) haven't done any additional exercise, but i might squeeze in 10 mins of situps before bed...

my poor, neglected blog... i'm on a journey to lose some weight. i'm 5'7" ( i think) and i weigh 188.5 lbs. that's in the obese category, unfortunately, and it's the heaviest i've ever been without being pregnant. here's what i'm doing:

• using the Lose It! app on my iPhone


• exercising every, single day for 30 minutes even when i don't feel like it (walking, jogging, situps, weights, jumping jacks, biking with the kids in the trailer)


• meditating every day and putting my intentions on taking care of my body, and visualizing myself all slender and healthy and happy

i would do weight watchers, but i can't afford it just now. i wish i had started this journey earlier so i could look cute in a swim suit this summer, but there's always next year! ;-) i like the Lose It! app - it was recommended by my nutrition instructor - but it seems to have fewer options that the WW app. day before yesterday i rode my bicycle for about 18 minutes pulling the 20-lb trailer with both kids, weighing together about 67-70 lbs. yesterday i ate too many calories and didn't do any exercise. today, i'm doing well so far, and did simple exercises like crunches or jumping jacks during commercial breaks while i watched TV and did housework. i get so depressed when i think about having to change my eating habits... i don't like change, and i especially don't like it when it has to do with food.

the weather's been so lovely, the kids and i have been spending a lot of time outside. school's going well. with alison's help i figured out that i'm on pathway one to becoming an IBCLC, and i should be done with my required classes in roughly 18 months. i should be able to sit the exam in july 2013. i'm so excited!! soon i'll begin taking my LCERPS online a little bit at a time, as i can afford them. i need 90 total, and have already gained about 20 (i think) through the LLL conference and a class i attended a couple of months ago.

micah is about to finish kindergarten. i simply cannot believe it!! she is growing up so quickly. josh and i briefly talked about homeschooling next year, but decided to keep both kids in school. micah has made so many friends, and i've gotten to know some of the parents, too. i really like micah's teacher and will probably request that rowan be in her class when he starts kindergarten in two years. i know they can't always honor those requests, but maybe we'll luck out!

i abandoned this blog post for a few hours. now it's 8:15, i have mucho studying to do, and i only clocked 15 mins of exercise today... *sigh*

Micah's favorite Christmas present...