josh and micah are at the rowlett hospital visiting josh's grandma this evening, and i just tucked rowan into bed - hopefully for the night. i just don't know what to do with myself! whenever i find myself with some free time, i feel like i need to cram in all the leisurely things i used to do before i had kids. but that was pretty limited to reading in the tub, curling up on the sofa for some cable TV and a snack, or meeting friends at J's or denny's for coffee. we don't have cable right now, and i obviously can't meet anyone at J's or denny's... i don't smoke anymore, anyway. so... that leaves reading in the tub. the bathroom's right off our room, and i'm afraid turning on the faucet in the tub might wake rowan. hmmm... so, here i find myself on the computer. : ) this is what i do for fun, now. i might risk a hot bath here in a minute... if he wakes up, i can always bring him in the tub with me.
josh and i shared an interesting conversation the other day. josh was lounging in bed, and i was sitting at the foot of the bed folding clean laundry, most of it rowan's. one of his little t-shirts caught my eye; i held up his brown hot wheels shirt and said to josh, "i won't ever be able to hand this shirt down to anyone; it reminds me too much of when rowan was in the hospital. it's the shirt we brought him home in." josh said, "that's so funny, because his green "recycle" t-shirt is the one that reminds me of rowan's hospitalization. it's the one he was wearing when you took him to the ER." i thought that was so interesting, that the sights and sounds and feelings of the day we got to bring rowan home from the hospital are more emblazoned on my mind, while the first horrible day in the ER is what josh can't get out of his mind. i think this is due in part to the fact that josh was the one in the little cordoned ER holding room with rowan when he was turning blue and the doctors were doing the endoscopy and frantically trying to figure out what the hell was happening to him before his airway closed completely. i was outside in the hallway with micah, trying not to throw up. and, conversely, i was the one staying with rowan in his room on the pediatric floor, when he was healing and getting ready to be discharged. so it makes sense that we would have those two different associations with what he wore during that week.
i wonder sometimes if i make too big of a deal about rowan's experience. a dear friend of mine has a son who was born with a congenital heart defect, and he had heart surgery days after he was born. he was in the hospital for weeks, maybe months (i can't remember). now, by the grace of god in heaven, he's a handsome, strong, healthy 6-month-old boy. but my point is, rowan's bout of epiglottitis utterly pales by comparison. and other families deal with medical conditions and emergencies on such a greater scale that what happened to rowan; long-term illness, conditions from which there's no recovery, etc. sometimes i feel silly and dramatic, bringing rowan's epiglottitis up all the time. but... rowan's mine. and i had never experienced any sort of medical emergency before that, nothing even remotely close to one. i have never broken any bones nor had to be hospitalized for anything, and neither has anyone in my immediate family. and while epiglottitis doesn't leave any lasting effects, it is very life threatening. immediate treatment is crucial, and for rowan that was made possible by our family doctor and wesley, guiding me in the right directions. i hope that i never offend anyone by dramatizing what we went through with rowan. i know how blessed we were to bring him home; i know so many families don't get to do that, whatever medical situation they're dealing with.
josh and i shared an interesting conversation the other day. josh was lounging in bed, and i was sitting at the foot of the bed folding clean laundry, most of it rowan's. one of his little t-shirts caught my eye; i held up his brown hot wheels shirt and said to josh, "i won't ever be able to hand this shirt down to anyone; it reminds me too much of when rowan was in the hospital. it's the shirt we brought him home in." josh said, "that's so funny, because his green "recycle" t-shirt is the one that reminds me of rowan's hospitalization. it's the one he was wearing when you took him to the ER." i thought that was so interesting, that the sights and sounds and feelings of the day we got to bring rowan home from the hospital are more emblazoned on my mind, while the first horrible day in the ER is what josh can't get out of his mind. i think this is due in part to the fact that josh was the one in the little cordoned ER holding room with rowan when he was turning blue and the doctors were doing the endoscopy and frantically trying to figure out what the hell was happening to him before his airway closed completely. i was outside in the hallway with micah, trying not to throw up. and, conversely, i was the one staying with rowan in his room on the pediatric floor, when he was healing and getting ready to be discharged. so it makes sense that we would have those two different associations with what he wore during that week.
i wonder sometimes if i make too big of a deal about rowan's experience. a dear friend of mine has a son who was born with a congenital heart defect, and he had heart surgery days after he was born. he was in the hospital for weeks, maybe months (i can't remember). now, by the grace of god in heaven, he's a handsome, strong, healthy 6-month-old boy. but my point is, rowan's bout of epiglottitis utterly pales by comparison. and other families deal with medical conditions and emergencies on such a greater scale that what happened to rowan; long-term illness, conditions from which there's no recovery, etc. sometimes i feel silly and dramatic, bringing rowan's epiglottitis up all the time. but... rowan's mine. and i had never experienced any sort of medical emergency before that, nothing even remotely close to one. i have never broken any bones nor had to be hospitalized for anything, and neither has anyone in my immediate family. and while epiglottitis doesn't leave any lasting effects, it is very life threatening. immediate treatment is crucial, and for rowan that was made possible by our family doctor and wesley, guiding me in the right directions. i hope that i never offend anyone by dramatizing what we went through with rowan. i know how blessed we were to bring him home; i know so many families don't get to do that, whatever medical situation they're dealing with.
1 comment:
you are not overreacting...rowan is your baby!! hunter and i are the same way about clothes. i remember what i was wearing when any major medical event has happened...some i can wear again and some i can't...but i can never get rid of any of them!!
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