a letter to myself

hey hannah,

today you weren't the kind of mama you want to be. you raised your voice a lot, you sat at the computer a lot, and you didn't pay attention. you are enjoying your laptop and your new internet service, and that's cool, but save that for at night when the kids are asleep. while they're awake, you need to cherish the time you have with them. you are so lucky to have a husband who works hard so you can stay at home with them. please don't waste that time doing things that don't matter, like watching M*A*S*H episodes you've seen a hundred times. please dig deep for your patience and your energy, and your imagination and your creativity. please don't spend your anger on messes that can be easily cleaned, broken rules that probably shouldn't have been made rules in the first place, or attitudes that you yourself are exemplifying. turn inward and hold yourself and your kids in that place where you know you want to be, where you are. josh is not here to give you a break, so be forgiving of yourself and take time at night (like you're doing right now) to rest and have fun. and plan your day so that there will be plenty of time for you at night. don't forget, you're in control of the schedule, so make it so. you need to make sure you take a shower tomorrow; don't forget. make yourself a pot of coffee in the morning, have fun with your kids, play outside, get them to bed early, and take care of yourself.

i love you. tomorrow will be better.

love,
hannah


p.s. i just noticed the time stamp on your blog posts is wrong... wonder how to go about fixing that?